Drug Detox Central

Loving What Is

I just finished reading Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is and it had a profound effect on me. As I was reading, I kept on thinking about addiction. We think that we’re powerless over these chemicals; I have come to believe that addiction help is just a thought away.

If you are not familiar with Byron Katie and her work, here is the basic premise: if you believe your thoughts you suffer. When people come to her for help, she asks them:”Who would you be without your story?” She calls her process “The Work” and it has four questions. You think a thought. You think: “I can’t stay sober.” That’s a thought you thought. And your Work is to question that thought.

The first question you ask is “Is it true?” Is it true that I can’t stay sober? You might immediately say Yes! It is true because past experience has shown that you’ve not been able to stay sober. The second question is “Can you absolutely know that it is true?” Can you absolutely know that you can’t stay sober? No. You know lots of people who have stayed sober for years! So it is not physically impossible. It’s not like you are asking if you can walk to the moon.
The third question is “How do you react when you believe the thought? ‘I can’t stay sober’? This question, and its answer, allow you to examine all the ways that that one little thought has motivated you to take all sorts of actions. Destructive actions, like binge drinking, self loathing, violence and anger.

The last question is this: “Who would you be without that thought?” Just this question is radical. You may think it’s silly or a psychology student trick, but it is amazing. Think it through: who would you be if you didn’t think you could never stay sober? If you stopped believing that sobriety was unattainable, who would you be? Probably, you’d be sober. And you’d stay sober easily because you have replaced that negative belief with a positive belief.

That’s “The Work” and I can see it having this huge impact on my life. I don’t know if it could cure something like Bipolar Syndrome, but I know for addiction, so much of it is mental. Getting past what we believe are our limitations is most of the battle. Most people, and I’m as guilty as anyone, have this river of negative thoughts running through their minds all day, every day. If you can catch even one of those negative thoughts and put it through the four questions, you can begin to shift your life.

‘Tis The Season

This time of year, lots of people over indulge in alcohol. As the saying goes, “‘Tis the season!” My answer is Yes, and no. It is certainly culturally acceptable to indulge and over indulge in alcohol at the Christmas and New’s Year’s holidays. Perfectly up standing and sober people suddenly let loose and get falling-down-drunk. I remember my parents’ new Year’s Eve parties and seeing my parents and my friends’ parents get silly and weird (as it seemed to my eyes.) I’m actually really lucky — my parents were of the let loose once a year sort of drinkers, so I did not grow up in a house filled with alcohol abuse. I had to learn that on my own.

I don’t want to come off as a kill-joy. I do think that many people (maybe even most people) can enjoy alcohol without becoming addicted. It’s such an easy drug to obtain and it can open the door to other drugs. So it is worth taking a look inside and asking yourself why you’re having a drink. Is it because you’re out with friends and a beer tastes great after a long day? Or is it because you feel awkward in social situations and the beer (or three) will help you lighten up? it’s not an easy question to ask, much less answer. But I am here to tell you that asking the question now, before you set a pattern of drinking, will save you years of wasted days and nights.

Alcohol is one of the more insidious drugs, at least in my opinion, because it is so easy to obtain and so acceptable to use — and, yes, abuse. It can take years for friends and family to realize that you’ve got a drinking problem. That’s years of you abusing and them not seeing/ignoring/enabling. It’s not their job to keep you from drinking; that’s your job. But if they don’t get what they are seeing, what’s happening in front of their very noses, that just makes the problem persist longer than it should.

So, before you decide to indulge in some holiday cheer, really ask yourself: Why am I drinking? What do I want to achieve from this glass? If you have the will to ask it, the answer might surprise you.
Peace.